सर्जरी - पहला भाग

For a very long time, I wanted to jot down my tryst with surgery, but could not do so for lack of inclination. Today, I feel like jotting it down.

It all starts with a few scans, a few tests. Your surgeon (your doctor till now) looks at those and says: "Young man, you need a surgery." You then fix the d-day with him, and from that moment onwards, pray that all goes well here-after.

A day before your operation, you need to get what is known as a "fit-for-surgery" certificate. It involves some routine tests like blood-sugar, B.P, and other blood related tests, some X-rays etc. If you pass, you are sure to undergo surgery; if you fail, I guess you are in greater trouble.

On the day of surgery, you tend to be apprehensive. There are a thousand questions that your mind cooks up, which in hindsight I can say are needless. What are they planning to do, has the surgeon done enough homework, is he skillful enough, will he be able to do the job correctly, will I tolerate anaesthesia well, will there be scars on my body, and god-knows how many others.

Once you reach the hospital, the first thing that is done is - recording your B.P. Soon you realize that recording B.P is done every 20 mins. Every 20 mins, a nurse comes over, takes your B.P, blabbers some thing to you - " अब मैं आप्को टेटनस का इन्जेक्शन लगा रहीं हूं." Each time the routine will be the same, only the contents of your bloodstream will be altered in newer and newer ways.

The fun part begins when you meet your anaesthetist. The first thing that they do is - you guessed it right - record your B.P again. I guess they want to be doubly sure that its absolultely right. Next, they start feeling your vein. You then gently ask them - "कोइ और इन्जेक्शन लगने वाला है क्या?" Yes: Vasofix. Vasofix is a prick-once-inject-many-times device. It remains seated in your vein, and acts as a one-way-valve. Anything can injected into your vein through the vasofix. You keep looking at the vasofix, when you should not. You get tense, your veins shrink, the anaesthetist taps at them, and gives up. Gently he/she says: "टेन्शन लेने की कोइ बात नही है. Relax. Don't look at the vasofix. After some time, he/she tries again. This time, you listen to what was told. You look away.

Ouch! Before you realize, the vasofix is inside your vein, and the anaesthetist is seen strapping it up with a sticking-plaster. Some more things are dumped inside your blood-stream, and you are all ready to make it to the big league - getting into the O.T.

The O.T is full of instruments, T.Vs, and some really state-of-the-art equipment. In the center, lies the stretcher on which you are supposed to lie. As soon as you enter, you can't help but look here and there. Soon you are lying on the stretcher, with your arms outstretched. The main surgeon then introduces the team to you. Everybody very politely says "Hi" to you. The anaesthetist then takes over and starts by asking some questions which sound weird to you then. Here is the dialogue which transpired in my case -

प्रश्न: आप किधर काम करते हैं?
उत्तर: PANTA Systems, पुणे
प्रश्न: Software है क्या?
उत्तर: हां
कहीं बाजू से आवाज आती है: आज कल तो Software की भेड चाल है. हा हा हा.
किसी और क प्रश्न: कितना m.l
उत्तर (मेरा नहीं): 6 m.l

Thats the last thing I remember, because as soon as the anaesthesia went into my bloodstream, I was asleep. I don't have any recollection of what happened later. My parents could see the surgery live on TV.

आज कल इस्का भी सीधा प्रसारण होता है.